Author: Amy Sholar | Sholar Stephan Law

The goal in every divorce should be to lessen the impact on the children. So how do we effectively coparent? Perhaps we start with the things we SHOULD NOT do.

We should not:

  1. Say negative things about the other parent to the children or within their hearing. This should be a no brainer; however, this occurs in a huge number of cases.
  2. In the same vein, we should not speak negatively about the other parents’ current spouse or family.
  3. Withhold parenting time, except in situations that would compromise the children’s health or well-being.
  4. Discuss financial matters with the children (including sending child support checks with the kids).
  5. Pass messages using the children.
  6. Withhold critical information from the other parent (doctors’ appointments, parent/teacher appointments, sport schedules, etc.).

Instead we should:

  1. Encourage a relationship with the other parent. Make sure the children consistently communicate with the other parent while in your care.
  2. Inform the other parent of activities such as school functions, doctors’ appointments or extracurricular activities.
  3. Speak highly of the other parent to the child. Remember this is your child’s parent.
  4. Stay flexible about parenting time.
  5. Be a united front when it comes to discipline.

It is good to remember that co-parenting requires two willing parents. Try your best, and if it doesn’t work, make sure you have qualified attorney who will help you navigate the situation. If you are looking for a divorce attorney in the Alton, Edwardsville and surrounding areas, contact Sholar Stephan Law today.